Despite the Crescent Moon
by silveredwolf
Summary: In the midst of the First Wizarding War, the Marauders are back at Hogwarts for their last and final year. Things seem normal enough until Lily finds herself spending more time with James, Sirius struggles to come to terms with his feelings, and Remus falls into a deep, abyssal madness from which there is no escape…. RL/SB, JP/LE.
1. Snogging on the Hogwarts Express

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Harry Potter and its characters; that privilege belongs to J.K. Rowling alone.

**A(n Extraneous) Note on Remus, Sirius, and James**: Often times when I read Fanfiction I see Remus portrayed as someone socially awkward, and while I have nothing against that, I wanted myself to write him as someone who's confident in himself, in his sexuality (he is openly bisexual), and in his body. He is by no means as cocky as James or Sirius. Speaking of whom, in this story, I didn't bother much with portraying them as cocky little shits, because canonically they should have matured a bit by their seventh year.

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**1**

**Snogging on the Hogwarts Express**

• • • •

* * *

The arched glass above the Hogwarts Express was heavily blurred with rainwater, beyond which dark grey clouds swirled furiously in the afternoon sky. The sounds of rain and thunder reverberated through the air as all over the platform families scurried worriedly about—some congregated near the middle, clustered in large vehement embraces, while others were stood at the side of the train, shoving their children through the doors. The din once so characteristic of platform nine and three-quarters was reduced to a wave of hushed whispers: farewells were bid, warnings were said, and the noise of sobs drifted high above the current. Once in a while there was a shout, dispersing through the vacant quietness and soon dying out.

On any other day, Remus would have had a hard time locating his friends through the dense crowd, but today the throng was thinning so rapidly that the minute he passed through the barrier, his eyes had found Lily. She was making haste into one of the train doors, her hair untied and sweeping around in a flaming mess, and twenty feet away, James darted after her with a look of genuine concern, yelling something that was drowned instantly by thunder. A long distance behind him, Remus could make out Sirius' slender frame, his black hair disheveled in the stormy winds, a wide smirk plastered on his face. Remus began to run toward his friends, looking down to avoid the puddles of water on the ground.

A couple seconds later he heard Sirius shout, "Moony!"

Remus raised his head up. Sirius was walking toward him briskly, no longer tailing behind James. Remus smiled and lifted a hand to wave, just as Sirius gained speed and slipped on a puddle a few steps forward. Remus' smile broadened and a laugh rose up his throat; it faded inexplicably before it left his mouth. Sighing, Remus moved quickly toward his fallen comrade with an ostentatious display of dexterity.

"Need a hand?" Remus mocked, pointing at the trunk lying beside Sirius' body. "That really does seem too heavy for you to lift. Maybe you should start developing those muscles more, you skinny little runt."

"Oh shut up Moony, you and I both know that I'm stronger than you are." Sirius' hand was up in the air and Remus took it, allowing Sirius to hoist himself up. "On any night other than a full moon," he added with a grin.

"You sure about that? Remember that time in the Three Broomsticks when you bet that I couldn't shag that girl—"

"And five minutes later you two were heading to the bathroom," Sirius grumbled, suddenly sounding hostile. "Yes, I remember. Your point?"

Remus raised an eyebrow at Sirius' inflection. "My point, Padfoot, is that you shouldn't underestimate my faculties, be it charismatic, mental, _or_ physical." Remus turned toward the train, Sirius in tow. "So how's—what's her name, um—Rocara?"

Sirius looked taken aback. "Who?"

"Your girlfriend… unless I got her name wrong."

"Oh right, her." Sirius looked extremely awkward, though Remus could not place a finger on it. "Why ask?"

"Why not?"

"Well of all the things you could have asked, I didn't really expect you to ask about my love life," Sirius said, sounding sheepish. "You, of all people."

Remus shrugged. "You sent me a shitload of owls about how great your summer was at the Potters, but you didn't once make mention of your girlfriend and her 'big-ass' tits, so…."

Sirius glared at him. "I never said her tits were 'big-ass.'"

"Oh really, then what were you saying over and over and over again right before we left for summer?"

"Nothing," Sirius said matter-of-factly. "About her, anyway."

Remus smirked. "Pads, did James knock your head with a Memory Charm or something? It's not unusual for you to forget the girls you've slept with, but their tits, on the other hand—now that's something memorable."

Sirius rolled his eyes, though that did little to diffuse his obvious tenseness. "Not that I remember."

"Ah," Remus said, his brows furrowing. "It seems that James has gotten more thorough with his charms." He winked at Sirius, who grinned at the pun.

The two stepped into the train and Remus hurried unceremoniously off to the head of the train where the prefects' meeting was taking place; he had only run a few paces before he bumped into a fellow prefect, who told him that the meeting was over and there was no assigned patrolling, much to his confusion and surprise. Thereafter, he and Sirius proceeded to find an empty compartment, their task severely hampered by the masses of people congesting the corridor. At one point Remus almost lost Sirius, and had to wait outside a compartment for his friend to catch up. As Sirius came into view, he looked uncomfortable again, his gaze transfixed on the floor; it was so unlike him, not bothering to check out the girls on the train. Remus rose off the wall against which he was leaning, but Sirius' hand caught at his shoulder and pushed him back against it. Remus stared at him in bewilderment.

"I broke with her."

"Oh," Remus said, a little more impatiently than he intended. "Well, I'll have you know that I'd arrived to that conclusion before we entered the train."

Sirius looked at him in surprise, then chuckled. "I've forgotten how smart you are." Sirius gave a small smile, which vanished almost immediately as his entire face went pink. Remus glared at him, his confusion very much so unabated.

"Sirius?" Remus asked, suddenly aware that they were still standing against a wall. "What's the matter with you?"

"Matter?" Sirius repeated, as if it was a word he did not know. "Wha—nothing."_  
_

"Okay," Remus said. "Let's try this: Why have we stopped so you can tell me this now, when we should be finding our friends? Especially since you break up with a girl every week?"

"I don't break up with a girl every week!"

"Oh, really?"

"Yes, really. For example, I haven't had a girlfriend since Rocara—"

"Wait _what_?"

Sirius looked so abashed that Remus would have laughed, were it not for his befuddlement. "I—yeah, I haven't been very active lately. Happy?"

"Why would I be happy? Oi, and stop changing the topic. If you don't tell me why you're acting like this in the next five seconds, I will hex you. And don't say nothing because, one, I'm tired of the word 'nothing,' and two, you're obviously hiding something." Remus pulled out his wand and pointed it menacingly at Sirius' face to reinforce his point. "Don't you dare," Remus added as Sirius looked around like he was ready to bolt.

"Remus, what the hell are you doing?"

A look of relief passed over Sirius' face as Lily bounded beside them, her eyes fixed warily Remus' outstretched wand.

"Nothing," Remus said, reluctantly stowing his wand back into his bag. He gave Sirius a stern look that said, _This isn't over_. To add on to his confusion, Sirius didn't even smile in triumph. _This definitely is not over_.

"Don't 'nothing' me, Remus. What was happening?" Lily glared at Remus, and Remus glared back. Sometimes Remus hated how similar Lily was to him; her weaknesses were so often his weaknesses too, where his strengths could not penetrate.

"Why don't you ask him? He's the one acting abnormal," Remus jabbed a finger toward Sirius, who looked so uncharacteristically expressionless that even Lily raised an eyebrow.

Sirius looked at the two, avoiding their eyes. Then he turned exclusively toward Lily. "Where's James?"

"How would I know? I lost him through the crowd—well, more like he lost me, but yeah. Had to do a lot of back-and-forths to get him off my tail. By the way"—she glared at Remus—"why didn't you attend the prefects' meeting?"

"I was just going there," Remus said innocently. "Then a prefect told me it was over, so I decided to look for compartments instead."

"Yeah well, Potter concluded it within five seconds. Didn't even bother to with the patrol schedule, so now every prefect's gone to have fun with their mates. Can't believe he became Head Boy. I mean, if Dumbledore wanted a prankster as Head Boy, he could have at least chosen you. God, I don't even want to think about patrolling with Potter in _school_."

"We should go find him," Sirius said, seeming to find his voice again. Remus narrowed his eyes. Sirius sounded almost normal now. It was the relationship front that made him uneasy, but why? What had happened over the course of this summer, other than the rise of You-Know-Who?

Sirius began to walk away, but Lily stood unmoving, and Remus found himself siding with her.

Sirius paused and scowled at them. "Well?"

"Well, I'm not coming with you," Lily said. "Didn't I just mention having to escape from Potter?"

"And I'm not coming with you, because something was up just now and now you're normal, which in itself shows that something's up," said Remus, staring expectantly at Sirius.

Sirius threw his hands up. "Fine. Go find some compartment to snog in." And with that, he left.

Remus' eyes trailed after his departing figure. "What the fuck?" he mumbled.

• • • •

Five minutes later, Sirius found James and Peter in a compartment. He flopped down listlessly on the seat next to James, not caring enough to greet Peter, whom he hadn't seen on the platform. "Fuck," he said under his breath. "Fuck, fuck, fuck."

"What's that?" James asked.

"Fuck, fuck—what?" Sirius' heart skipped a beat, and he continued his string of 'fuck's in his mind. _Fuck Remus. Fuck James. Fuck me. Fuck me for being such an over-reactor. Fuck me for over-reacting even now. Fuck my heart for skipping a beat. Fuck me for having to go through a hundred more 'fuck's._ "Nothing."

Across from him, Peter was eating heartily at some candy he bought, which were strewn all over his lap and spilling onto the seats. Sirius suddenly became conscious of how hungry he was, and he reached forward to nick some of Peter's lunch, partly for the purposes of satiation and partly for a distraction. Sirius' hand was an inch away from the confections when Peter noticed what he was doing and (with a "HEY!") immediately scooped them all up against his chest, or attempted to do so anyway. Regardless, Sirius managed to grab a Chocolate Frog, giving Peter a gleeful smile. The boy had enough candy lying around him to feed a nation anyway.

Sirius began to unwrap his Chocolate Frog, pulling out the card and tossing it aside. The card hit James, who yelped and launched into a tirade about how unhandy Sirius was, in which the only words Sirius picked up were "Evans," "paper cut," "arms," "ruined," and "chance."

"Prongs," Sirius interposed. "Evans doesn't care enough to look at your arms." That effectively shut him up, and left Sirius to relish his Chocolate Frog in peace. The frog attempted to jump, but Sirius caught it, bringing it to his mouth….

The smell of the chocolate wafted through his nose before it was in his mouth. Suddenly Sirius smelt books as well, and parchment, and a headier, more intimate sense of _Remus_. It was as if the frog was made of Amortentia…

A shock shot through Sirius' fingers as the thought passed in his head, and the frog fell out of his hands and hopped beyond retrieve. _No_, Sirius told himself frantically, his head a discordant whirlpool of thoughts. He had caught a whiff of Amortentia last year in Potions, and it smelt _nothing_ like Remus. The fact that he began to identify the smell of love with his best friend…. _No_, Sirius said again, chiding himself sternly. _You don't swing that way, and you certainly aren't attracted to your best friend_.

"Padfoot?" James asked, his anger almost faded completely. A disconcerted Sirius really was an unusual sight, it seemed.

"_NOTHING!_" Sirius yelled, his frustration—at Remus, at James, at himself—bursting out in all directions. Peter looked up in alarm and Sirius glared viciously at him, making him drop his head back to the candy he was savoring. James' quizzical gaze lingered on Sirius for a while before he turned away to the window. The sky was still gloomy outside.

With the chocolate gone and his friends dealt with, Sirius resumed his internal litany of 'fuck's, which of course stemmed from the only other thought pulsing through his mind: he was _not_, in any way, shape, or form, entertaining a crush on Remus Lupin.

• • • •

Remus and Lily walked down the entirety of the train, trying to find a compartment that wasn't full. Lily was just about to open the door to a compartment when they heard Sirius' voice booming inside; Lily quickly pulled Remus by the hand down the aisle. Remus couldn't blame her; if James and Sirius were fighting inside, the door was bound to be opened at some point and Lily couldn't risk having James see her.

Four minutes later, they were at the end of the train, having opened every door save for that of the Marauders' compartment. The only vacancy was Snape's compartment, which he shared with Avery and Mulciber. Lily had only opened the door a slight crack before she slammed it shut, clinically informing Remus that she would not share a room with Death Eaters.

"Well, we're fucked," Remus said, more so for Lily's sake. He was, after all, a Marauder himself, and had no disinclination of joining his friends. "Though between Snape and James…."

Lily made an exasperated sigh, as if failing to contemplate the fact that there was no other option. After a long pause, she said, "Potter. But I'm not sitting with him, so you'd better use your prerogative as a Marauder to make sure that happens." She gave Remus a lethal look. "Or Black won't be the one hexed today. The only one, anyway."

At this, an idea sprung in Remus' mind, but he tamped it down for the time being.

They started walking back, and Remus decided to change the topic. "Do you reckon we'll be able to have a normal year?"

"Why not?"

"Well, with You-Know-Who rising and people dying…."

"I suppose so," Lily said absently. "As long as he doesn't attack Hogwarts. We're still here in a train, dealing with Potter and Sev—Snape, aren't we?"

Remus smiled, his idea gaining definition. "Well, if that's so, I was thinking we could have a little fun, just like old times, you know? Unless you're still uptight about pranks…."

Lily arched an eyebrow. "No, a little fun is nice."

"Remember what Sirius said about us snogging?"

"Yeah." Lily frowned. "What was that about anyway?"

"Dunno. But if we come into the cabin _looking_ like we've snogged, it'd probably irritate James—"

"And then he'll get all clingy, which is exactly what I don't want," Lily countered.

"But wouldn't it be fun to see his reaction?" Remus said, unable to stop the smile spreading on his face. "He's going to be clingy no matter what, Lily, but you could at least make some amusement out of his presence, which you claim to despise so much."

Now Lily was smiling too, having ignored the word 'claim.' "So… how do we look the part? Quite honestly, do you just want to go in and snog in front of them? That would elicit a much bigger reaction."

For a moment, Remus was stupefied. "Snog in front of them?"

Lily nodded. "Unless you mind—"

"Oh no, of course I don't mind," Remus said with a laugh. "I just thought that _you'd_ mind, you know, since you've never had a boyfriend."

"Just 'cause I've never had a boyfriend doesn't mean I've never snogged. I've snogged plenty, really, sometimes just to irk Potter."

"Well, you're going to have to bring a date to snog when you patrol at school, then."

Lily glared at him. "Shut up." She sighed. "Speaking of dates, how long has it been since you've dated?"

"_Dated_," Remus said emphatically. "Or _shagged_?"

Lily shrugged. "Both?"

Remus thought for a while. "Well, I didn't date anyone after Astrid… and I didn't get any since then, so I'd say at the end of last semester." He grinned.

They were now standing at the door to the Marauders' compartment, which was a lot more silent now. Remus was about to push the door open when Lily grabbed his hand; he looked at her, frowning.

She stood on her tiptoes and whispered in his ear, "Maybe we should start now." There was something so provocative in the way she said it that for a moment Remus couldn't fault James for being so smitten with her, though he doubted James ever heard her murmuring like that.

How ironic it was that Remus would get to kiss her before James did.

• • • •

Since Sirius' tantrum, the room was quiet except for the pitter-patter of rain, the shuffling of foil and paper, and the sound of candy being crushed under Peter's teeth. Sirius' mind was slack from all the 'fucks' he had repeated, and his body felt like it was losing strength; gradually he found himself sliding off the seat, and then he hit the floor with a thud. Nobody paid him any attention (not that he wanted any)—Peter was still making love to the Goddess of Sugar, and James was pretending to be absorbed in the somber expanses beyond the window. Sirius was so bereft of motivation that he lay on the floor for a while.

Which was a near-fatal mistake.

The door suddenly flung open and Remus and Lily toppled in, tripping over Sirius' poor body and falling down on top of him.

"WHAT THE HELL?" he heard James yell, so loudly that several people came out of their compartments to check what was going on. James immediately shut the door with a resounding slam. Sirius pushed Remus' and Lily's legs off of him and fell against the door as he clumsily pulled himself up. Peter was staring at everyone in alarm, his tryst with the Goddess of Sugar untowardly interrupted.

Remus and Lily hastily got up too, the latter blatantly ignoring James. Without preamble Lily shoved Peter against the window and sat herself near the door, while Remus situated himself in between the two. James' face was red and his fists were balled, his body visibly shaking in his attempt to curb his ire. His mouth was open as if ready to give another rant, but the words never came; it seemed he was at a loss for words.

"You…" James sputtered. "Kissed…"

_Kissed?_ Sirius felt his heart sink, though he had no explanation for it. _Remus… kissing Evans…_

He was suddenly incredibly tentative in his body, and he didn't know whether to look at the pair in the eyes, to watch James and find some entertainment at his expense, or do something else entirely. Words began to tug at his throat but he didn't know them well enough to say them aloud. Then he started to wonder, with more aggression than necessary, why he was feeling this way—why was he responding so viscerally to Lily kissing Remus? Maybe he was hurt on James' behalf, but it wasn't as if Lily never kissed someone else in public, and whenever that happened, Sirius had always been the one _laughing_ as James bawled his eyes out, or when he got older, started picking fights and getting in trouble.

Lily scowled disdainfully at James. "So? It's not like you've never seen me kiss before, Potter."

Sirius looked at James, whose emotions were definitely a lot less convoluted than Sirius'. It was pure anger and chagrin, unbridled jealousy. Sirius felt all three with just as much intensity, but he equaled them with his denial. He could not stop the thought—that it was Remus, not Lily, not James—from creeping into his mind, for the more he looked at Remus, the more real his emotions became, and the harder it was for him to lie to himself; yet he refused to dwell upon it, because _it wasn't real_. It wasn't happening. It was probably just some phase that would pass in time. He was not in love with his best friend. He could not be._  
_

"But you kissed _Moony_." James choked on the last word, like he didn't believe it himself. Then he whirled on Remus, his eyes aflame with betrayal. "HOW DARE YOU KISS MY GIRLFRIEND—"

"I'M NOT YOUR GIRLFRIEND!" Lily yelled, leaning forward. "AND I HAVE THE RIGHT TO KISS WHOMEVER I WANT, INCLUDING YOUR BEST FRIEND."

"—IS THAT WHAT WE ARE? IS THAT WHAT 'BEST MATES' MEAN TO YOU? DON'T FORGET WHAT WE DID FOR YOU, REMUS LUPIN. DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH IT FUCKING HURT TO BECOME ANIMA—"

"JAMES!" Now Sirius was yelling too, his inner turmoil temporarily forgotten. "HOW DARE YOU EXPOSE US, EXPOSE REMUS, JUST FOR THE SAKE OF YOUR PETTY CRUSH AND YOUR _JEALOUSY_?"—he spat out the last word—"IS THAT WHAT 'BEST MATES' MEAN TO _YOU_?"

"I—" James had the grace to look down. "DON'T YOU CALL MY CRUSH 'PETTY!'"

"DON'T CHANGE—FUCK—TOPI—" Sirius was becoming incoherent in his anger. "I'M FUCKING TALKING ABOUT REMUS!"

"AS IF I DON'T ALREADY KNOW WHAT HE IS!" Lily screamed.

A silence descended upon everyone in the room. James and Sirius stared at Lily with their mouths open, while Remus seemed to be suppressing a smile. Peter looked clueless as to what was happening.

Sirius found his voice before James. "You…"

"Merlin, yes, she knows," said Remus irritably. It was the first time he had spoken during the whole event, and suddenly Sirius was reminded of his dilemma before the fight. "What I am, what you all have become."

Sirius stared at him blankly, unsure as to what to feel. "You told her?"

"I confirmed it for her."

"Oh." Sirius looked down, somewhat awkwardly and ashamedly.

There was another bout of silence.

"Well," James finally said. "Now that that's clear, let's go back to our previous topic of discussion." He shot Remus another venomous glare. "How dare you kiss my girlfriend."

Remus looked at Lily, who glanced back at him; some understanding passed between the two, and Lily shrugged. Then she kissed him.

Sirius' blood turned cold and the sinking feeling was back in his heart, now stronger than ever. Lily kissed Remus, and _Remus kissed her back_; her arms snaked around his back, his right hand rose up to her shoulder, and his left hand remained planted at her waist; their lips moved along each other's so keenly and fervently and _expertly_, and Sirius' mind kept spinning and spinning as the coldness around his heart solidified into an icy hand, locking it in place, depriving it of its beating….

At long last, they broke apart. From where Sirius stood against the door, he could see Remus smirking at Lily before turning to James. Sirius wasn't breathing. He didn't understand why he felt so betrayed. He didn't understand why he was looking at Remus' hand, still clasped on Lily's shoulder, and wishing it was touching _his_ shoulder. He didn't understand why he couldn't stop staring at Remus' lips, swollen from kissing, and he couldn't justify the fire stirring inside of him, screaming that he should have been the one to make them so red and voluptuous.

He told himself again that he wasn't jealous. He couldn't be jealous. He was not bent… certainly not for Remus….

"Remus didn't kiss me," Lily told James sweetly. "I kissed him."

Sirius looked at James, who was staring at Lily in a mixture of shock, helplessness, and incertitude. Were it any other person, James would have beaten up the person Lily kissed, but this was Remus, and Sirius knew he wouldn't take it out on him. Or at least he hoped… James was, after all, about to divulge Remus' secret just a few minutes ago.

"I—you—" James shook his head, then shrouded it in his arms on his knees.

Remus and Lily both gazed at him expectantly, and then bursted out laughing like idiots. James jerked his head up and Sirius gaped at them in horror.

The realization began to register on James' face, and he bellowed, "HOW DARE YOU TWO—" but he started laughing too. James could never refuse a good prank, be it on him or on someone else. Then Peter's voice joined the chorus, for Peter was a copycat. Only Sirius wasn't laughing. He watched as Remus' whipped his head around wildly as he laughed, his body haywire with the gales of laughter tearing through him. Then Remus' eyes landed directly on Sirius, and his smile wore slowly off his face. Sirius' eyes flitted away, and a sense of guilt washed over him; it was the last thing he wanted—for Remus to stop smiling for his sake.

"Padfoot?" Remus asked, his voice somewhat strained.

Sirius looked back at him, and it pained him to hold his gaze. Then Sirius put on his best act of laughter, and soon Remus began to laugh again. The atmosphere had lightened substantially, and outside, the sky was brightening up as well; the clouds were dispersing and the sun was shining through, and the incessant battering of rain was gone. Sirius assumed his original seat beside James, still maintaining the charade, but he couldn't help but see the genuineness with which James laughed; his crush had been kissing his best friend, yet he was able to see past it and even make sport of it.

That wasn't the way with Sirius. He couldn't find anything funny in the way Remus snogged Lily, roaming his lips around like he actually meant it, or the way Sirius had reacted so deeply to it. He was uncomfortable. He was envious. He was furious. He was hurt. But most of all, he was scared. Scared of losing control over himself and over the situation; in all his relationships, he had been the one to dominate—he had been the magnet, and girls came to _him_. He knew the ways of seduction, how to pleasure someone, how to manipulate their affections and smite them down if it came to it. But now it was Remus drawing him in, and Sirius was completely in his thrall; it was a feeling he never experienced before, and he was so immensely afraid.

There was nothing he could do to stop it, as much as he desired to: His heart was wandering, just as his identity was changing, and resultantly he was putting his most treasured friendship in jeopardy. He wanted to scream and cry and pour his heart out to someone—no, not just to someone, but to _Remus_—but he couldn't; all he could do now was smile, and deny it to the best of his ability. But there was no pushing away the tide, and with every passing second, it gained on him and swelled in strength.

Throughout the rest of the train ride, Sirius kept his silence as Remus and James exchanged small banter, with Lily interjecting from time to time (usually in Remus' favor). Without wanting to, he looked at Remus and paid careful attention to his every aspect: his mannerisms, the structure of his body, the shape of his face, the color of his hair, all of which he knew better than the back of his hand.

And so by the time the Marauders and Lily alighted the Hogwarts Express, Sirius couldn't help but let the tide in. He had repressed it for the whole summer, but the floodgates wouldn't hold now, not when Remus was right there in front of him, as opposed to being an owls-reach away.

Sirius Black was very much so bent, and he entertained a voluminous crush on Remus Lupin.

* * *

• • • •

**A/N**: Thank you for reading! P.S. reviews make me happy… like, really, extremely happy, and give me a lot of motivation to keep working on a fic. So please review!

Also, the fic is rated T for now, but it may change to M later on (depends if I plan on writing smut).


	2. No War Within These Walls

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Harry Potter and its characters; that privilege belongs to J.K. Rowling alone.

**A/N**: I have changed the name of this story from "Not Only This Night" to "Despite the Crescent Moon."

* * *

**2**

**No War Within These Walls**

• • • •

* * *

Somewhere near the Ravenclaw table, Lily was censuring a group of fourth years for violating some trivial rule Remus himself had never heard of before. James was gazing at her wistfully, his eyes following her hands as they gesticulated wildly in the air, and his spoon, laden with pudding, was suspended midway to his mouth. Little by little, the pudding slipped off the metal, splattering onto his robes. James didn't seem to notice. Remus rolled his eyes, his gaze straying toward Sirius, who was staring intently at him. Their eyes locked for a split second before Sirius pulled away a little, his lips forming a small smile. Sirius had been quiet ever since Remus kissed Lily, and though he wasn't behaving as overtly absurd now, Remus still made a mental note to wheedle him about it later. To Remus' left, Peter slurped at his pudding very avidly and noisily.

Lily plunged down on Remus' right with an air of exasperation. James immediately ran his hand through his head, ruffling it up; his eyes were still fixed on her, glinting with jovial expectation, and it wasn't until Lily shot him a glare of vexation and disgust that he finally steered them away. Lily wrenched her head solely toward Remus, her crimson cheeks limned with rage.

"Honestly, with You-Know-Who rising and all, the selection of Head Boy and Girl should have been left to McGonagall. Dumbledore's just got too much on his mind, dealing with the War; maybe he's starting to lose judgement—well, _energy_, more like, not that I blame him much. I wouldn't put that much thought into the school either if I had the power to stop You-Know-Who—"

"Lily, what are you getting at?" Remus asked, really for the sake of asking.

"I'm saying that if McGonagall had chosen, we would have a far more responsible Head Boy who hasn't broken all the rules himself."

James was gaping at her, looking hurt, but Lily kept her eyes facing Remus.

Remus grinned. "Maybe instead of grumbling about how inept James is at keeping order, you could take the mantle upon yourself. You know, ignore the part where there _is_ a Head Boy and just be the Head yourself."

Lily seemed to take this under consideration. At long, she said, "That sounds a lot like something a Slytherin would do."

James chortled noisily, sounding relieved. Remus sighed and, without reason, looked over to the Slytherin table.

Lily slapped him lightly on the cheek. "Don't look at them, you backstabber!"

Out of the corner of his eye, Remus found Sirius staring again, his face slightly contorted and tense. Remus rubbed the place where Lily slapped him. "Oh come on, it's not like the sheer image of them will convert me—"

"Don't joke about it!" she snapped. "They're the ones who are culpable for all this shit!"

"You know, you're sounding a lot like James right now."

"Don't—oh God, Remus!" Lily threw her hands up, fuming. For a long time, Remus' tolerance of Slytherin House was something he shared with Lily, but that changed immeasurably after Snape showed her his Mark last year. "I will not further discuss anything to do with those Death Eaters and Death Eaters in the making."

Remus let it drop. "Then maybe you two"—he pointed at Lily and James—"could fulfill your duties as Head Boy and Girl and start delegating tasks to the prefects."

James looked horrified. "Don't tell me I'll have to escort those first years to our dormitory." He shuddered. "_Children_."

Lily glared at him. "Of course you're not bringing them up. You'll probably poison them with your prankster attitude and tell them exactly how to get under the teachers' skin."

"Oi, I've given up on the pranks, remember?"

"_You've_ given them up. Doesn't mean that you won't deploy your minions to do them for you."

"Evans, you really need to start trusting me if you ever want a chance with me."

"I'm relieved to hear that my chances with you are still at zero. Anyway, I'll lead the first years with Remus, and I suppose the Sixth Year prefects from the other Houses can lead their first years." Lily paused. "I guess I'll inform them now."

As Lily got up to leave, James stood up as well, his hand extended as if to grab her. "Wait, what do _I_ do?"

"You can be on your best behavior and stop sabotaging my plans," Lily quipped, keeping her arm far away from James.

She made to leave again, but James called out, "Wait, I'll go with you."

Lily froze and stared at him, disbelief written in her eyes. Then she slammed her hands against the table and brought her face level with his. "Don't you dare pretend to be responsible, Potter," she said dangerously. "You will get the credit you deserve, which is to say, none."

"I'll work," James said a bit too eagerly. "I swear by Merlin I'll work. I'll do whatever you want, Evans, please just give me a chance. I'll lead the first years with you"—Lily opened her mouth to object—"and I won't poison them with… what was it again? But it doesn't matter; the point is, you can keep me in check, and I swear I won't resist." His lips twisted up. "When have I ever resisted you anyway, Evans?"

Lily didn't speak for a while, holding James' gaze. "I gave Remus the task," she said softly, her resolve clearly withering away.

"I'm not very fond of children," Remus interceded, at which the two spun to look at him, James obviously grateful and Lily utterly betrayed. "So, with that settled, I'm assuming I won't have to do anything now? Oh, how the tables have turned." He smirked at James, whose thankful expression was at once replaced by an indignant scowl.

Lily let out a sound of defeat and stormed off, James scrambling after her. Remus watched them go for a while before turning back to the table. Then Sirius started laughing, banging his head down on the table as he convulsed.

"Damn, if only that was what he needed this entire time—" Sirius broke out guffawing again, and Remus frowned as if Sirius had gone completely bonkers, despite this being the first show of normal Sirius behavior in the entire day. "You know Moony, I never took you for a matchmaker, but _damn_."

Remus was about to say something when Dumbledore stood up and shushes swept across the room.

"Welcome, students, for another year back at Hogwarts," Dumbledore said, his voice carrying through the Hall. Tonight he sounded less cheery, more pensive than usual. "I will be quite forthright with you all tonight, for in a time like this, I do believe that every second is precious—whether we use it practically or simply to enjoy ourselves, it may be the last seconds of our lives…. Of course, I am regarding Lord Voldemort." Strident gasps arose all around the Hall, and even Remus was a little astounded at Dumbledore's audacity: nobody would use the Dark Lord's name. The air grew tense.

"Yes. Lord Voldemort and his followers, whom we know as Death Eaters. If you have been keeping tabs with the Daily Prophet, you will know that over this summer, Muggles and Muggle-borns have been persecuted, and still remain to be persecuted. The Aurors at the Ministry are working hard to combat the Death Eaters, and we teachers have fortified the school against Voldemort to the utmost best of our ability." At this, the tension in the atmosphere very noticeably unclenched. After all, if the teachers (and most importantly, Dumbledore) established the protections around the school themselves, then Hogwarts was probably the safest place in the world to be.

"There will be no war within these walls of ours," Dumbledore continued. "School rules will be stringently enforced, and I do not wish to see any misdemeanor from any one of you. This is a dark and dangerous era, and if you do not comply with us, you are putting yourself in danger—danger not from us, but from Lord Voldemort himself. There will be no sneaking around at night, no pranks to be pulled, nor dabbling in the Dark Arts." All eyes rounded on the Slytherin table.

"Now, now," Dumbledore cautioned. "Let us not be prejudiced against anyone or a certain House. Unity is pivotal in this storm of discord. I believe that if Hogwarts holds together as one, Lord Voldemort cannot possibly force his rule upon our grounds.

"Dire warnings aside, let us proceed with a new school year! Let us move forward with our magical studies and bring our knowledge to new heights, so that if the time should ever come, we may successfully evade Lord Voldemort. And above all, allow us enjoy what precious time we have left to us and find happiness amid this darkness, tempering within our hearts not just a flicker of light, but a great, consuming inferno."

• • • •

Lily was going to kill Remus. Well, kill was slightly far-fetched, but she would definitely hex him a great deal.

Lily kept her eyes expectantly on James, who stared blankly at the little faces peering at him. _How strange it is that haughtiest person in the whole school is the one who lacks the most leadership skills_, Lily thought. For so long James stood rooted to the spot as if paralyzed, his mouth an centimeter open, his eyebrows drawn together; the only part of him that remotely moved was his hands, which fidgeted nervously with the fabric of his robes. Lily reveled in his discomfiture, or at least she did, until she realized how openly she'd been ogling him.

_NO_. Lily tore her eyes away from James. _LILY EVANS, THAT IS THE LAST TIME YOU WILL LOOK AT HIM LIKE THAT._

Panic stirred in her chest and her throat began to constrict; such was the acuteness of her antipathy for James. There was no better word for it, though sometimes Remus would tell her she was wrong; for what reasons, she did not know.

She hated James Potter and everything about him: his arrogance, his perennial presumption that Lily would one day fall in love with him, his smirk, his unkempt hair, his amber eyes, his ridiculous glasses, the way he mounted his broom with expertise on the Quidditch field, the way his fingers so easily enwrapped the Snitch she saw him playing around with in fifth year…. _No_, she admonished herself. She would not give James Potter that much space in her head, and she shuddered to think of how she even knew or remembered all that. Her panic intensified.

In an attempt to distract herself, she trained her eyes on the first years that crowded around her. None of them looked back at her. But of course: James Potter had always gotten all the attention.

Then Lily realized that they weren't exactly staring at James, but at his robes. Lily frowned. What were so interesting about his robes? Sure, they were new—further evidence that he was spoiled—but so what? A great deal of these children had new robes as well. Then she saw it: at the front, right where his genitals were (_Oh God, Lily_), was a huge yellow smear of pudding.

Lily smirked against her will, and many faces—including James'—whipped toward her.

She looked innocently around and sighed. "Oh come on, guys, it's not like we aren't all seeing the same thing," she said. "You all want to laugh, but you're just too scared to."

Smiles then began to light up the first years' faces, and soon the hallway was filled with snickers and chortles. James was frowning in a manner that was nothing but hilarious; Lily waited patiently for the moment when he would smile just to fit in with the rest of the crowd, and then his eyes found hers, and a smile did creep across his face.

"Guess I finally made you laugh, Evans?" he asked. _Oh Potter, how blissfully ignorant you are_.

Lily glanced at him coyly and returned his smile. "Potter, it looks like you just came all over yourself. With pudding." (She hoped the first years didn't comprehend the sexual jargon.)

His head tilted downward and his mouth flew wider. "Shi—"

"POTTER!" Lily yelled. "No profanity in front of children!"

"But you just said 'ca—'"

"That's different! It's more obscure!"

James shoved his hands into his robes, searching for his wand. Then he looked up, staring at Lily in disbelief. "My wand… I left it in my trunk."

Now Lily really started laughing.

James had never looked more distraught. "Can you… you…?"

"What, take over while you clean yourself up? You volunteered to help, remember? No backing out now, _Head Boy_," Lily sneered. Maybe she wasn't going to hex Remus after all, if the ball was going to stay in her court like this; as if James becoming Head Boy wasn't a big enough joke as it was—now she would extract every last remaining drop of hilarity from it. This was turning into a blessing in disguise.

James gave her his puppy dog eyes, to which she was obviously immune. She glared at him and did a gesture with her head, signaling him to begin his duty. The pale skin on James' face was so incredibly scarlet, and it took all of Lily not to laugh her innards out.

Finally, James croaked, "Alright first years. Em… following me?" Then he whirled around, concealing the pudding, and strutted awkwardly toward the Gryffindor common room. The first years, still giggling, followed suit, and Lily came last after them.

Given the pace at which James hurried to the common room, they arrived at the portrait door in no time at all. The Fat Lady observed the incoming train, then looked squarely at James' crotch. James shifted quite noticeably.

"Oh! Need the bathroom, I suppose? Password?"

"Tenebare?" James said, increasingly uncertain as he spoke.

The Fat Lady cocked an eyebrow. "Bare? Are you trying to make puns, boy? Not a very good one, I must say, since you're not baring anything. Yet. Where's your friend, the smart one? He usually opens the door for you, does he not? He should have led these kids; he's a prefect too, isn't he?"

"Well, fu—"

"TENEBRAE!" Lily screamed over the heads of the children.

The Fat Lady peered around James' figure at Lily. "Ah, she's a smart one too. Well, in you all go!"

The door swung open, and the line moved fast. By the time Lily went through the hole, James had already bolted out of sight. Sighing in irritation, Lily moved to the front of the line and brought the first years to their dorms herself.

• • • •

Peter left the Hall after they were dismissed, saying something about being tired from all that food. Sirius and Remus decided to stay behind at the table, watching James and Lily from afar as they corralled the first years. Or least Sirius was. Remus was only paying half his attention to the pair, his eyes more or less fixed on Sirius. He was acting so normal now, so much like the Sirius Remus knew… but there was something different, wasn't there? Remus couldn't simply ignore Sirius' aloofness on the train and through most of the feast. He wanted to know what had nettled Sirius so badly… but now he seemed so happy, without a care in the world, and a pang of guilt ate at Remus as he envisioned knocking the smile off Sirius' face.

As the group of first years amassed, James was gradually pushed into the hallway outside the Hall, and Sirius, with a smirk, gestured at Remus to follow. As Remus got up and leapt off the bench, he accidentally crashed into a girl; he reached his arms out and steadied her. Then he looked down—for the girl was a head shorter than him—and he went rigid. He'd recognize that hair anywhere: the long waves cascading down her back, shining with the color of sunset. Astrid Clearwater, or as the Marauders knew her, Remus' last ex. His eyes grew big.

"Shit I'm so sorry," he heard her mumble. "I—Remus?" She jerked against his touch, her eyes also widening in shock.

Remus spun his head toward Sirius as if pleading _help_, but Sirius stared at them uncomprehendingly, his eyes just as large as theirs. Aside from shock or surprise, they were very much so unreadable.

"Hey… Astrid," Remus said awkwardly. "How's… um… your summer?"

"Filled with paranoia."

Remus nodded. The Clearwaters were, after all, Muggle-born—both Astrid and her older brother.

Which led to the next awkward question: "Nobody… got hurt in your family… right?"

Astrid was smoothing her hair off her face. "No. Well, I should go now. My brother's waiting for me." She indicated her brother loitering near the door of the Great Hall, looking at her with a frown.

"Yeah, alright. But I'm—" Remus choked. This was so awkward. "—really glad that no one got hurt."

Astrid searched his face. "I am too. And Remus, you don't have to act all concerned about me. I know I'm not your number one priority, so don't bother pretending that I am." Remus opened his mouth but Astrid continued, "God, that sounded bad. What I meant to say is that… I know you were asking out of sheer politeness. You always were so kind, and I've always liked that about you." She stopped, hiding her face from him. "But if you're not going to be with me, please don't talk to me. It hurts to even see you."

Her last word came out cracked, and as she strode hastily away, Remus' gaze slid after her, his heartbeat beating unbearably hard. A while later, he turned to address Sirius, who still stared at him with that same shocked expression, though now it was mingled with a bit of unease.

"What was that about?" Sirius asked as Remus started forward.

"Nothing," Remus said curtly.

"Oh come, that was definitely something—"

Remus rounded on Sirius, his eyes blazing. "And that was definitely something on the train too. Didn't hear you filling me out on it."

Hurt registered on Sirius' face for a split second before fading. "What does that have to do about anything? We're talking about your love life here."

"Oh don't play coy with me," Remus snapped. "You think I don't know that it's something about _your_ love life that's bothering you?"

"I—well, I broke up with her, okay? That much you know."

"And I broke up with her. That much you know." Remus' face grew unaccountably hot. "I don't know the details of your break up, and you don't know the details of mine. I say we're pretty even."

Sirius continued to walk toward the front door, picking up his pace exponentially, and Remus, giving a huff of annoyance, trudged grudgingly after him. Both boys kept their eyes glued to the floor.

"I like someone else," Sirius suddenly blurted. Remus brought his head up and stared at him. Sirius always treated crushes as conquests, for which he strove with absolute determination, and whenever Sirius saw a girl with bigger tits than his girlfriend, he'd mark the former on his list and unfeelingly dump the latter.

Sirius Black was fickle, and did not give two shits about the other end of his relationships. Remus had never seen him fall for someone in a way that flustered him, especially to such a great extent.

Thus, Remus was highly dubious. "That's it?"

"Yeah. And I'm telling you right now that I won't spill who it is. That's where I draw the line." Sirius' voice was startlingly firm. His eyes glossed over Remus' face. "You don't believe me, do you?"

Remus bit his lip, rendered uncertain by Sirius' adamance. He managed a weak smile. "What do you think, Padfoot?"

"I think that you want to believe me but you just can't, since you can't entertain the possibility that Sirius Black might be in lo—might have a serious crush on someone."

Sirius' slip-up did not go unnoticed by Remus, who pressed his lips together to suppress laughter. Remus drowned himself in thought as they walked through the doors and out of the Hall. The corridor was deserted, James and Lily long gone. "I'll buy your lie for the time being," Remus decided at last.

Sirius smiled. "So, now that you know about my break up, why don't you tell me about yours?"

Remus rolled his eyes, slightly exasperated. He didn't want to tell Sirius this story for a reason, but Sirius, being Sirius, would get to the bottom of it sooner or later, and Remus wasn't keen on having a prospective confrontation with his best friend. "Well, the Death Eaters started purging Muggle-borns last year, right? So over spring break, Astrid was back home with her best friend Samuel, who, by the way, is a half-blood. Then the Death Eaters came after her.

"There was quite the skirmish at the Clearwaters', and Astrid almost got nicked by a Killing Curse, were it not for Samuel, who—no, Sirius, he did not die," Remus interposed at Sirius' horrified face. "Samuel pushed her out of the way in time to save both of their lives, but in their confusion another Death Eater shot curses straight into Samuel's pupils. Long story short, he had to go to St. Mungo's, and now he's irrevocably blind. Can't even attend Hogwarts, since he can't study or see where his spells are flying at."

Remus felt his breath catch with shame, thinking of how Dumbledore permitted _Remus_—a monster—to attend Hogwarts, while someone as innocuous and filled with integrity as Samuel was barred from continuing.

Recollecting himself, Remus continued. "Astrid came back physically unscathed, of course, and she came to me for comfort. We got closer than ever, but that's not really contributive to the point. Anyhow, over time, she started becoming like the Slytherin-hating Lily we know now, except Astrid was even more extreme. She hated anyone who had any connection to the Death Eaters, which, regrettably, includes you."

Sirius seemed to understand where this was going. "She asked you to cut me out of your life."

Remus nodded, his face cast to the ground. "I refused, obviously. I tried to reason with her, told her that you hated Death Eaters as much as she did, but she wouldn't listen. She gave me an ultimatum between you and her. I chose you."

They were approaching the Gryffindor common room, and the silence of the night outside the castle seemed to seep into the hallway. Remus was looking straight ahead now, while Sirius had his head down. Finally, Remus said, "Padfoot—"

"Did you love her?"

The question threw Remus off guard, though he didn't know what else Sirius could have said. "I wouldn't go so far to say _love_," he said. "But I did like her plenty, and she made me happy."

"Then _why_?" Sirius asked, suddenly grabbing onto Remus' forearm. Remus stared at him in the eye, knowing ruefully that this was going to happen—hence his attempts to keep his break up to himself. "Why give up your happiness for someone like me? Were you any other person I would understand, but _you_ Moony, you aren't blinded by my arrogance or my good looks or whatever it is that other people see in me. You of all people know that I'm nothing special—I'm not a piece of shit, of course—but I'm too ordinary to be worthy of such a sacrifice."

Now this shot a spike of anger and incredulity through Remus' veins. "_Ordinary_? So you're telling me that defying your parents at every turn is something every kid does, huh? Ordinary purebloods don't tamper with Muggle motorcycle engines, trying to enchant them to fly, Sirius. You're the first person from the Most Ancient and Noble House of Black to ever step foot in the Gryffindor common room, and you have Gryffindor posters hanging back in your old room as we speak. I could go on and on about how extraordinary you are, but it doesn't really matter, does it? I didn't choose you over Astrid because you're worth more than her, or because you're more _extraordinary_ than her. I chose you because you're my best friend and I will always choose you, over anyone or anything." He dropped his voice, "The minute you and James and Peter decided to become Animagi for me, I proclaimed a series of predetermined choices that can never be revoked. Keeping you and losing Astrid was one of them."

The grip on Remus' arm slackened, and Sirius looked at Remus as if debating between something. Then Sirius removed his hand completely and strutted onward, nearing the Fat Lady's portrait.

"Does it still hurt?" Sirius asked once Remus caught up with him at the door.

"Only because she's hurt," Remus replied. "But I'm over her, if that's what you're asking."

• • • •

The first thing they saw in the common room was Lily strolling down the stairs from the male dormitories.

"Lily?" Remus asked, sounding worried for the mental health of his friend.

Sirius grinned unabashedly. "Looks like Prongs finally got some."

"Oh shut up, Black." Lily rolled her eyes. "I was just escorting the first years to their dorms. Had to get the girls done first, then the boys. Potter ran for his life the minute he got through the door." She smirked. "You two wouldn't happen to know about a certain stain on his robes and the placement of that stain, would you?"

A realization seemed to dawn on Remus. "The pudding?" Lily nodded, and he barked with laughter.

"You know, Remus, I was thinking of all the ways I would hex you for setting me up with Potter, but that pudding just saved your stupid prick. His reaction was priceless."

Sirius raised an eyebrow. "Did I just hear Lily Evans indulging in a prank?"

"Black, seriously? Shut up." Lily made her way to one of the couches beside the hearth, and Remus plopped down on the couch across from her. Sirius was still standing awkwardly a few feet away from the portrait hole.

"How'd you do it, anyway?" Lily asked, her arms bent on her knees as she leaned toward Remus.

"I didn't. James was too busy ogling you to remember how loaded his spoon was with pudding."

Lily rolled her eyes. "Typical Potter. At least it came back to bite him in the arse this time." She moved to recline on the cushions behind her, getting so comfortable it seemed she might just sleep there. "This is probably the first time I've ever said this, but I'm actually excited to go patrolling with Potter. Leadership just does not work with him _at all_."

Sirius harrumphed, feeling a bit indignant on his friend's behalf. Remus and Lily both turned their heads to him.

"He leads _us_ just fine," Sirius said pointedly. "Right, Moony?" He glared at Remus as if reminding him of what he said a few minutes earlier.

Remus shrugged. "Leads us into chaos, sure."

Sirius threw his hands up. "We _feed_ on chaos."

Remus arched an eyebrow. "I never said anything otherwise. He's a great leader of the Marauders, and the most abysmal leader of the student body." Remus pursed his lips. "Since when do you care, anyway? We've never hailed Prongs as our high and sovereign leader; in fact, some may think that there's some sort of power struggle between the two of you."

Sirius scoffed. "The Marauders are all leaders as they are followers. We embody unity like no other."

Lily twisted a bit of her hair around her finger. "Well, I'm not going to sit here listening to you boast about how great your fraternity is, so let's talk about something else. Black, I'm afraid the topic I have in mind will bore you, so I'd advise you to go to bed."

"Or maybe I'll have a taste of this topic of yours and judge for myself."

Sirius and Lily glared at each other.

_I'm fighting over Moony_, Sirius realized suddenly. _After what happened in the hallway, I'm fighting over him like he belongs to me._ There was no mistaking his intentions for something less than intimate, and something disgusting rose at the back of his throat. _This is wrong, this is wrong..._

"The password's got a dark sense of humor," Lily began.

Remus nodded. "Tenebrae. Latin for 'darkness.' You would have thought that they'd chosen something like 'lucem' or something. It'd set a much brighter mood."

"Or maybe the password doesn't do anything to the mood since nobody here knows Latin," Sirius retorted, and immediately wished he didn't. He was jealous. Jealous that Remus and Lily found mutual interest in something as tedious as _Latin_. Jealous that he couldn't match Remus' intelligence, or his interests, in the way that Lily consummately could…

Remus smirked, and Lily threw Sirius another glare. Sirius rolled his eyes, trying to appear nonchalant. It was so much easier now, after having moved from the denial phase, to set his feelings for Remus aside and act normally around him. It was, after all, his denial that brought about his agitation and stirred the fury in his head.

Yet it was one thing to acknowledge something, and another to endorse it. He could not deny that he wanted to seize the collar of Remus' robes and snog him senseless, any more than he could deny how wrong his feelings were. He would never let himself lose a friend like Remus, not after everything Remus had done for him; was that how Sirius planned on repaying Remus for breaking up with Astrid? By making him all uncomfortable and guilty and tentative, effectively ruining their friendship? _No_, Sirius declared. His affections cut far too deep for that. He refused to let this crush change anything, and it filled him with a fierce determination to salvage every bit of normalcy with Remus.

And in time, he hoped, he would learn to love that normalcy, and the rejection that ran beneath it.

• • • •

"YOU KNEW ABOUT THE SODDING PUDDING, DIDN'T YOU?" James screamed the minute Sirius traversed the threshold. "You put it there! You were sitting next to me, so you were the only one who could have!"

Sirius blinked, confounded. "Actually, I didn't. I don't even know the full story of what happened. Something about you dropping pudding on yourself—"

"Me? Dropping… what? Who told you this?"

"Uh." Sirius scratched his ear. "Moony."

"HE KNEW?" James growled. "He knew and he didn't tell me? That fucking tosser."

Sirius felt his face boil, but he ignored it. "What happened, anyway?"

James drew his pillow over his face. "There was some pudding on my robes, right where the sun doesn't shine, and I was stupid enough to leave my wand up here. Then Evans started laughing at me and egged on all the bloody children to laugh along with her."

Sirius' lips stretched into a grin. "Well, she was still thinking about it downstairs with Moony."

James groaned and pressed the pillow deeper against his face. "Moony too?"

"Please, Prongs. I would have laughed too, if I had seen it myself."

James whimpered, smothering himself some more. "I can't believe I embarrassed myself so much in front of Evans."

"Well, on the bright side, you're all she can think about right now."

James peeked an eye at Sirius. "She said that?"

"Something along those lines, yeah."

Sirius didn't need to see James' mouth to know that he was smiling.

* * *

• • • •

**A/N**: Thanks for reading and please please review! It really means a lot to me. And thanks to the two of you who did. :)


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